Jeff Russell

The night before last I had a couple of dreams, and I'd like to ask anyone willing to help me figure out what I ought to be taking from them. I'll start with the dreams themselves, for anyone who likes to go in "cold," give a little background, and what I've taken away from them so far. If you have any thoughts on what else I might get from these, I'd very much appreciate that.

So, first, my friend, who started a software company and had it successfully acquired by a larger company, making him very wealthy, was dressed in an Army uniform, giving some kind of briefing to a group of soldiers. In that briefing, he made clear that I would be in charge, which was news to me. I was also in uniform, but off to the side, and I was sitting putting on my boots and wasn't sure if I had everything I needed in terms of gear and my uniform (specifically, I think I was missing my "cover," which is military-speak for "hat," and is a required part of your uniform when outside). Despite the mission being a surprise to me, I felt like I'd be able to handle it, once I got my boots on and got up to speed.

In another dream, or perhaps another part of the same dream, I was in a finished basement with a friend (maybe the same one, maybe not - it wasn't clear who he was except "a friend"). Even though we could mostly see what was around us, we were trying to turn on a light to see something. When we flipped, the switch, though, there was only one small, flickering light bulb, and whatever we were trying to illuminate was still unclear. We tried the switch a few times and looked around, and then I realized there was a whole grid of lights set into the ceiling, more than enough to light up whatever we were trying to see, but all but one were not working. Realizing the problem was the bulbs, I set to work figuring out how to change them, and that's the last thing I remember (not sure if I woke up or just moved onto another dream, as one does in dreams).

For background, I have for some time felt like I need to move toward making at least some of my money on my own, most likely from writing mainly, and very likely from writing about my esoteric/occult/spiritual interests. I've been held back from this both by the normal concerns and excuses we all use to avoid going after something challenging and uncertain, but also out of a worry of cheapening or commodifying what is sacred in my life by turning it into a way to make money - I have an MBA, I worked as a management consultant, and I teach business classes at university, so I'm painfully aware of the kinds of warping incentives money-making can introduce to even the most noble of intentions. Further, as for the Army stuff, since I used to be in the Army, but it's been a long time now, "Army Dreams" for me often have the same kind of flavor as "school dreams" have for many people (and sometimes I get lucky and the two somehow combine) - being in a context that was once familiar, but demanding, and feeling keenly aware that I thought I had left it behind for good and no longer feeling up to performing in that context.

Okay, so onto my first stab at interpretation. My entrepreneurial friend seems to indicate this has something to do with my own thought-about entrepreneurial endeavors. Him and the other soldiers being in the Army seems to indicate I see that work as hard, and something I'm not necessarily ready for. Needing to get my boots on and gear sorted seems to stand for a feeling that I'm still "getting ready" for that work, but time may be pressing. The fact that I met this with resignation/determination in the dream, rather than helpless dread, would seem to say that I feel like I can handle this challenge, it just might be hard and take some preparation.

I feel like the light dream is linked to all of this, but I'm less confident of that. One of the things I've been struggling with is "okay, I've read about a bunch of tools for making money as a writer/creative, but what do I actually do? What do I write? What format? Books? A newsletter? What?" and this bit seems to reflect that. The fact that whatever it is is right there, just inadequately seen, and that it could be seen if I just fixed what is meant to "cast light" on it implies that what I should do is obvious, or at least would be, if I could fix my way of looking at it/thinking about it.

So, that brings me back to my ask: what do you see in all this? Does my tentative interpretation make sense? Does anything jump out as obvious that I haven't mentioned? Bonus points if you're like "obviously, you should just do X" in concrete terms for making money, but I know that's a stretch. As I said, I'd be most thankful for any help you're willing to offer.

Cheers,
Jeff